{"id":1351,"date":"2012-03-23T16:59:02","date_gmt":"2012-03-23T16:59:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/greeverwilliams.com\/?page_id=1351"},"modified":"2026-04-22T22:12:38","modified_gmt":"2026-04-22T22:12:38","slug":"zombie-limericks","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/greeverwilliams.com\/?page_id=1351","title":{"rendered":"Zombie Limericks"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/greeverwilliams.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/trippingyou.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-1355\" title=\"if Zombies Chase Us\" src=\"http:\/\/greeverwilliams.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/trippingyou.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"429\" height=\"312\" srcset=\"https:\/\/greeverwilliams.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/trippingyou.jpg 550w, https:\/\/greeverwilliams.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/trippingyou-300x218.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 429px) 100vw, 429px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Because zombies are infinite awesomeness in the undead flesh and because this is <em><strong>my<\/strong><\/em> blog, I give you: Zombie Limericks!<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h4><strong>Zombiedog<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Can man&#8217;s best friend become undead?<br \/>\nIt&#8217;s a question that has hurt my head<span class=\"text_exposed_show\"><br \/>\nBe careful or you might be hurtin&#8217;<br \/>\nBecause no one really knows for certain<br \/>\nBut I&#8217;d advise you to keep Fido very well fed!<\/span><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h4><strong>No Choice<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>There once was a man named Fred<br \/>\nUnfortunately he was of the undead.<br \/>\nHe\u2019d shamble around,<br \/>\nFeeding off the town,<br \/>\nWhich forced us to fill him with lead.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h4><strong>It&#8217;s Not Me, It&#8217;s You<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>I once dated a girl named Jane.<br \/>\nShe had skin the color of rain.<br \/>\nDid she think I was hot?<br \/>\nApparently not.<br \/>\nShe only wanted me for my brain.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h4><strong>Survival 101<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>They&#8217;re called undead for a reason.<br \/>\nTheir bodies have all committed treason.<br \/>\nAim for the head,<br \/>\nBeware if they&#8217;ve bled,<br \/>\nIt&#8217;s zombie hunting season!<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h4><strong>Time Mis-Management<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>This situation is not of my choosing.<br \/>\nTheir sheer numbers ensure we are losing.<br \/>\nSo instead of shooting my gun,<br \/>\nI&#8217;m writing this pun.<br \/>\nAnd I hope you find it amusing!<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h4><strong>One-Track Mind<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Would it be rude of me to impose<br \/>\nIf I could perchance borrow your nose?<br \/>\nI just need a little snack.<br \/>\nTo get me back on track.<br \/>\nAnd then &#8211; BRAINS!<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h4><strong>Variety &amp; Certainty<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Some gibber on just like the Mad Hatter<br \/>\nOthers simply shuffle, wander and clatter<br \/>\nBut one thing&#8217;s for sure<br \/>\nThere&#8217;s not a good cure<br \/>\nAnd they only want you for your gray matter.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h4><strong>Anato-Me<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>Head, shoulders, knees and toes<br \/>\nIsn\u2019t that how the old rhyme goes?<br \/>\nBut this one\u2019s not for little kids<br \/>\nMy humanity is on the skids<br \/>\nAnd for these things my hunger grows.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h4><strong>Spare Parts<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>A finger here, an eyeball there<br \/>\nPieces of me are everywhere!<br \/>\nMy decaying anatomy<br \/>\nIs dispersing geographically,<br \/>\nAnd soon I\u2019ll have no parts left to spare!<\/p>\n<div data-renderer=\"lm\">\n<hr \/>\n<h4 class=\"my-2 [&amp;+p]:mt-4 [&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:inline-block [&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:pb-2\"><strong>Good Neighbor<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p class=\"my-2 [&amp;+p]:mt-4 [&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:inline-block [&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:pb-2\">The guy next door started to rot,<br \/>\nBut honestly, I like him a lot.<br \/>\nHe stumbled one day<br \/>\nTo the office of the HOA,<br \/>\nNow complaints from that crowd we have not.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h4 class=\"my-2 [&amp;+p]:mt-4 [&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:inline-block [&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:pb-2\"><strong>The Optimist<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p class=\"my-2 [&amp;+p]:mt-4 [&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:inline-block [&amp;_strong:has(+br)]:pb-2\">There once was a lad named Jay,<br \/>\nWho believed we would all be okay.<br \/>\nNow he shuffles in town,<br \/>\nWith a bite out of his crown,<br \/>\nStill insisting it\u2019s \u201cjust a bad day.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Because zombies are infinite awesomeness in the undead flesh and because this is my blog, I give you: Zombie Limericks! Zombiedog Can man&#8217;s best friend become undead? It&#8217;s a question that has hurt my head Be careful or you might be hurtin&#8217; Because no one really knows for certain But I&#8217;d advise you to keep [&hellip;]<\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/greeverwilliams.com\/?page_id=1351\">Continue reading &rarr;<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":66,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1351","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/P2dNJ0-lN","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/greeverwilliams.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1351","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/greeverwilliams.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/greeverwilliams.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greeverwilliams.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/66"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greeverwilliams.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1351"}],"version-history":[{"count":22,"href":"https:\/\/greeverwilliams.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1351\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1945,"href":"https:\/\/greeverwilliams.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1351\/revisions\/1945"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/greeverwilliams.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1351"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}